


Strengths and Weaknesses

by skyz_hazel09



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Flirting, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Confident Remus Lupin, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Sirius Black, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, James Potter & Lily Evans Potter Die, M/M, Massage, POV Sirius Black, POV Third Person, Pining, Post-First War with Voldemort, Raising Harry Potter, Sirius Black Never Went to Azkaban, Tongue Piercings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:07:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28413636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyz_hazel09/pseuds/skyz_hazel09
Summary: Sirius struggles with his feelings for Remus as they raise Harry together.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95





	Strengths and Weaknesses

“Moony come quick! I don’t know what to do.” Sirius was having a bit of a hard time trying to get Harry to calm down for bed. Harry was generally a very pleasant baby; he didn’t cry too often, he always wanted to eat his food, and most importantly; he absolutely adored cuddles (much to Sirius’ delight.) 

He could hear Remus’ quick footsteps coming down the hallway of their flat. The rhythm was a bit off due to Remus’ wonky hip, which caused him to favor his right leg. “Pads what is it!” Remus was always on his toes when it came to Harry’s well-being because apparently, he was ‘the responsible one.’ Sirius could hear the urgency in his voice; it made him smile. He loved how important Harry was to Remus. Of course, he loved the boy with his whole heart; they both did for crying out loud. Harry was James and Lily’s son, so of course, Remus and Sirius were the ones to take care of Harry after the attack on Halloween of 1981. It was a day that pained Sirius to think about. He cried for days after his best friends had been murdered, defending their only son. As soon as he heard what had happened, he rushed to the Potter’s house, not letting anything get in his way. When he got there, their bodies had already been moved, but in his crib still laid little Harry Potter at the young age of one year and three months old. Without question, Sirius scooped up the boy, held him in one arm, and took off on his motorcycle, steering with his unoccupied hand. 

A couple of days later, Harry was settled into Sirius and Remus’ flat, sleeping soundly in his own crib (Remus had brought it from the Potter’s by then). It was all very natural. The two men had already been around Harry many times; sometimes to baby-sit, sometimes because they simply wanted to see their favorite little boy. Taking care of Harry was like second nature to them already, so when Albus Dumbledore came to their flat to ask them their preferences on Harry’s new placement, they immediately said that they would be the ones to take care of him. Dumbledore had simply smiled and wished them luck. 

Almost nine months later, and things were still running smoothly...well most of the time. Sirius was struggling a bit with his feelings for Remus. He had known for a while that he was not straight; since his 5th year at Hogwarts. In fact, he still remembers the day he realized. He had gotten on The Hogwarts Express, not having had seen anyone but James all summer. He had been sitting across from James and Peter, laughing at James because he had made another declaration that he would win Lily’s heart that year when Remus walked into the cart. Sirius would say that nothing had been too different with Remus, except that would have been a lie. 

Remus had finally hit his growth spurt; he must’ve grown four or five inches over the summer. Sirius hadn’t even known that was possible. Remus was now taller than all of the marauders, which was definitely different considering he had been second shortest only months prior. That wasn’t all that was different. It took a second for Sirius to notice, but once Remus had stuck out his tongue at James for making a crack on his new height, Sirius saw a glint of silver. A piercing. He seriously hoped that he hadn’t audibly gasped when he saw it. Something stirred in his stomach when Remus sat down next to him and gave him a quick smile before fishing out his latest book and began to read. That's when he knew that he really, really wanted to snog Moony’s face off. 

Five years later and there he was; same piercing but a newfound assurance of himself. Sirius still hadn’t told Remus about his feelings for him, not wanting to screw up their dynamic because it just worked so well. 

Remus stumbled through the door, reaching for the crib on instinct. “Did you try and levitate Harry again because I swear to-” Sirius cut him off by giving him a pleading look which he hoped would work enough to get Remus to take Harry because he really couldn’t handle another one of Harry’s shrieks into his ear. Remus gently took Harry out of Sirius’ arms and cradled him to his chest. He gently began to rock him whilst singing one of his favorite David Bowie songs quietly into Harry’s ear. Sirius was having trouble keeping a smile off of his face as he watched from the armchair he was sitting on. 

Within minutes, Harry was fast asleep in his crib with his thumb in his mouth, dreaming away. Sirius flipped off the lights and walked out of the room with Remus trailing behind him. 

When they reached the kitchen, Sirius finally got along to saying, “I just don’t get it. You’re absolutely incredible at that. You made it look effortless, while I couldn’t even get him to stop screaming for even a second.” Remus scoffed and gave him a disbelieving look, “Are you kidding me! You’re the one that’s good with him. You can always make him laugh and keep him entertained. The only thing I can really do is read aloud to him, which almost always makes him fall asleep.” Sirius smirked and said, “Him being put to sleep is hardly a bad thing. I mean there were nights where I didn’t get a wink of sleep because he kept waking me up to help him use the bathroom.” Remus laughed but didn’t disagree. 

“Let’s just agree we have our own strengths and weaknesses,” Remus said while collapsing onto the couch and grabbing his wand to summon his cigarettes. Sirius couldn’t help watching as Remus grabbed a cigarette with two slender fingers. He had this habit where whenever he was about to put the cigarette between his lips, he would swipe his tongue over his top lip once, then over his bottom lip twice. It was mesmerizing. He knew it was wrong to think stuff like this about his friend, his best friend, but he honestly just couldn’t help it. 

“What are you looking at there Pads?” Remus quirked an eyebrow at him and gave him a funny look. Shit. “Uh...I-I mean nothing. I was just trying to see um which brand of cigs you’re using today. You know how you’re always trying new shit.” Sirius hoped that this didn’t sound like a flat out lie. 

Remus chuckled softly then picked himself up and walked towards Sirius. He sat down next to him on their other couch that was perpendicular to the other that Remus had just been laying on. Sirius’ heart sped up quickly. This wasn’t like Remus; he generally liked his space. In fact, sometimes it seemed as if he was purposefully keeping space between himself and Sirius. It stung. 

“So you know how the other day when Harry was at that park and he was playing with that girl near the swings?” Sirius nodded. “Well, apparently her mum and dad work in the ministry, and the mum told me that they’re making serious cuts in the magical creatures department. They’re not going to fund new studies. Isn’t that absolutely ridiculous? It’s not like I really care because I’m considered a dark creature but still it seems a bit stupid.” Remus had been moving his hands as he spoke and Sirius could see that his shoulder was causing him some discomfort. “That is stupid, but I can’t say I’m surprised, I mean the ministry is always pulling shit like that. With this war being over and all, you would think that they would be a bit more focused on bringing the ministry back to normal. But no, everyone just wants to live in fear because they think there’s some other dark wizard that's gonna come along. It’s all bollocks.” Sirius and Remus had much in common, but their hatred of the ministry was one that they often talked about. Sirius noticed Remus rubbing his right shoulder with a slight grimace on his face. 

“Hey is your shoulder all right? I’ve noticed it looks a bit rough.” Sirius was trying to catch Remus’ eye, but Remus was looking at the floor. “Oh, it’s fine. I think I just stretched a bit last Full, that’s all.” Sirius knew it was causing him more pain than he was letting on. Remus didn’t like to bother others about his problems. It was something Sirius really thinks he ought to work on. “Can I?” Sirius was reaching out with his hands to meet Remus’s hurt shoulder. “Uh...you don’t have to, it's not that ba-'' Remus stopped talking as Sirius began to rub his shoulder with both of his hands, gently so as not to hurt Remus.

“Is this okay?” Sirius asked not wanting to make Remus uncomfortable. “Yeah, actually, that’s kinda nice.” Sirius smiled softly to himself. He kept massaging the shoulder, angling Remus’ body so that he was sitting with his back facing him. It was easier to get the back part of his shoulder like this. Remus crossed his legs in front of him and seemed at ease. It made Sirius happy to know that he could make Remus feel that way. 

“Does it feel better now?” Sirius asked. Remus turned his head towards him and nodded twice. Sirius could see his beautiful brown eyes and he melted a bit. Remus had this one scar that went over the bridge of his nose from the bottom of his right eyebrow to his left under eye. Sirius wanted to trace over it with his fingertips. He didn’t. “Does anywhere else hurt?” 

Remus thought about it for a second and said, “Um, my back does feel a bit off.” Sirius gave him one of his famous Sirius Black smiles and went to work. He started at Remus’ shoulder blades, using his thumbs to get the area that laid between them. He then gradually worked his way down to the middle of Remus’ back, not knowing whether or not to continue down. He started a bit downwards, hoping it was okay. Remus suddenly moved forward and Sirius tore his hands back. He was about to get off the couch and apologize when he saw that Remus had laid down on his stomach, splaying his legs behind him taking up the expanse of the couch. Sirius was sitting up against the back of the couch with his legs curled to his chest, so Remus’ legs rested next to him. Remus’ head was resting on crossed arms and he tilted his head to look at Sirius quizzically. Oh. He actually wants me to keep going. He placed his hands back where they had been, moments earlier. 

After a few more minutes of lazily pressing his hands into Remus’ back, he began to feel a bit braver. He dragged one hand down to Remus’ lower back and let it rest there for a second, seeing if it was okay. Remus gave a small nod. Sirius continued and began to rub there with both of his hands. He felt Remus give a small exhale and he smiled contentedly. This was bloody brilliant. But he wanted more. 

“You know Moony if you took your shirt off it would make things a bit easier on my part,” Sirius said, feeling some of his confidence coming back. He was Sirius Black for fucks sake. This was what he was good at; the flirting. “Oh is that so?” Remus said in a voice that Sirius wished he could hear all of the time. “Yes, of course, it’s been scientifically proven, er by me actually.” Sirius could see Remus’ smirk from where his head lay to the side. “Well, in that case, do what you must. You are the expert.” Sirius couldn’t believe his luck. He gently pulled Remus’ shirt up so that it was up to his shoulder blades. At this point, Sirius had seen Remus’ scars so many times that Remus trusted him when Sirius said that they didn’t bother him. How could they?! Sirius thought that they were beautiful. He traced over one near the small of Remus’ back and he felt him shiver. Wow. Remus lifted his arms so that he could take the shirt off the rest of the way and tossed it to the ground. Okay, so this is new. Sirius continued to massage Remus’ back, occasionally going farther up to rub around his neck. He indulged himself for about another fifteen minutes before his hands began to cramp. “Hey Moony, my hands are starting to hurt…” Remus immediately sat back up, not wanting Sirius to feel like he had to keep going. “Oh don’t worry about it, you helped loads. My shoulder was hurting like a bitch. Thanks, Pads.” Sirius smiled again, feeling like he was on cloud nine. Wait a second. “What about your back?” Remus looked confused at the question. “What about my back?” Remus asked. “Well, what about your back. Does it feel loads better? I did spend about thirty minutes massaging it.” Sirius said letting out a small laugh. “Oh right… well to be honest my back was feeling quite well. I just liked how your hands felt.” Remus said unabashedly. Sirius’ mouth fell open a bit. Remus reached over with his right hand and used his thumb and forefinger to close Sirius’ mouth. He let his thumb trace over his bottom lip for the slightest second before dropping his hand. Sirius didn’t quite know what to do. His heart was beating fast. 

“I fancy you.” Sirius blurted out without even thinking. It was as if the words had spilled out. He just couldn’t keep them in anymore. Remus chuckled softly giving a soft shake of his head. His hand found the back of Sirius’ head, pulling him towards him slowly. He only stopped when their lips were inches apart. “I fancy you too you absolute wanker.” Sirius didn’t even have time to be surprised at the declaration because shortly after, Remus leaned in a bit further and their lips met. 

Sirius was elated. He barely had any thoughts left in his head to successfully kiss back for a second, his head was too damn stuck on the fact that Remus fancied him. He actually fancies me. When the hell did that happen? It didn’t matter because Remus’ lips were on his and he was going to do something about it. He put his hand on the side of Remus’ head, stroking his cheekbone. Remus had wrapped his other hand around his neck and now both of his hands were tugging gently at Sirius’ dark hair, trying to pull him closer. Closer closer closer. He didn’t think things could get any better but then they did. Oh, merlin help me. Remus caught Sirius’ bottom lip between his teeth pulling it on it gently. He swiped his tongue over where his teeth had been and Sirius could finally feel it. There it was; the prod of cool metal sliding into his mouth. Oh god. He moaned into Remus’ mouth which spurred him on to tug a bit harder on his hair. Sirius decided that he liked that very much. 

Remus pushed gently on Sirius' chest and he immediately compiled. He let Remus push him onto his back watching intently as Remus lowered himself onto his body. Remus kissed down to his neck, sucking gently under his jaw. Sirius was starting to lose it. He just couldn’t believe this was happening. He had been in love with this man above him for the past four years, not letting himself hope that anything could actually happen. But here they were; Remus currently sucking a hickey into the hollow of his neck while slowly grinding down with his hips. Jesus fucking Christ. 

“Hey Moony, as much as I love what you're doing, believe me, I really do, I need you to stop, or else well you can guess what’s gonna happen.” Remus coyly pulled away from his neck and stopped the movement of his hips, giving him a knowing look. He kissed Sirius quickly on the lips before sitting up, giving him a look full of endearment. 

“We wouldn’t want that to happen now would we?” Remus gave Sirius a small smirk and tucked an astray piece of his dark hair behind his ear. “At least not yet.” Sirius smiled at that. A promise for more. 

“So what does this mean? For us I mean.” Sirius asked, desperately needing to know. “Well, I know that I’ve wanted to do that for years. I know that I love being here with you, and Harry. I know that you make me feel better about myself than anyone else ever has. I know that we’ve both had a rough go of things. I know that we’ve helped each other through things that are extremely bloody difficult. I know that when I’m with you I feel at ease. I know that for a while I tried to keep a distance between us because I was afraid that if I let myself get close to you I wouldn’t have been able to be apart from you. I know that just now when you touched me, touched my scars, the part of me that I’ve hated for so long, well you did it without thinking of them as something scary or disgusting. You traced over them and I know that it made me feel good. It made me feel like maybe they’re not so awful. I know that I never want that feeling to go away. So I think that means that I’m not gonna let you go. Not now, not ever.” Remus smiled softly at Sirius, looking into his eyes for real. Brown met grey and Sirius knew that everything Remus had just said was one hundred percent true and that everything was going to be okay. Sirius felt tears prick at his eyes and Remus pulled him into his arms, tucking his head into the crook of his shoulder. “I love you Moony. I know that.” Sirius said quietly into his shoulder. He felt Remus take in a quick breath. 

“I love you too Pads,” Remus said into Sirius’ ear. They had been holding each other peacefully for five blissful minutes when suddenly Harry started wailing from the other room. 

Sirius laughed and slapped Remus on the back saying, “You’re up Moons. This is one of your strengths, remember?” Remus just shook his head with a smile on his face and got up to tend to Harry. 

A couple of minutes later Remus came back into the living room. He gestured for Sirius to stand up. He did. Remus grabbed his hand and led him to his room. Sirius stopped at the door raising an eyebrow. Remus gave him an innocent kiss on the cheek before leaning to speak quietly into his ear. “I did say ‘not yet’, now’s a good time for that, eh?” Sirius didn’t need to be asked twice.


End file.
